greg... the guy next door

as i have been doing for the past few days, i've been living alone. yes, alone. i got my own apartment and everything, including a cute guy next door.

greg is a blond hair, greenish blue eyed guy who has been super duper helpful and friendly to me. Its nothing really, except he've been coming to knock at my door almost everyday and night that sometimes i would already know that he is the one who was knocking at my door.

we would usually do small talk and he would try to invite me to his place and watch tv and eat and stuff. me? i would usually turn it down. yep. I turned EVERYONE of his invitations down.

finally, not five minutes ago, we ended our conversation at a lighter note. I was able to tell him that I have a boyfriend. how did it go about?

as usual, he knocked and invited me to come in his place and watch some tv. i turned him down, saying i still have some stuff to do. then suddenly he was talking about how important appearances are and everything. then he suddenly blurted out that I was cute.

I was surprised. I just said thanks and then I smiled. and then he suddenly asked if I have a boyfriend. I said yes, and that He is in the Philippines and that I love him so much. He said that my man must be really happy because I was so loyal to him and that I was sweet and smart to boot.

I said thanks again. but he also said that long distance relationships wouldn't last that long. I just told him that I beg to disagree. but I smiled again. Then he just said that he is glad if we could be friends. I agreed and thanked him but turned down his invitation again to come to his place and watch tv.


so there..... I have ended that. finally I was able to tell him. I hope my baby would be proud of me. I just love my baby so much. I just hope he would appreciate me.

efforts.......

have you ever felt that you are already doing everything that you can and yet as if your efforts are not being appreciated? i dunno why i feel this way. maybe its too early for the relationship, but i just wish that he would think more ahead. I feel so un appreciated. I mean, i call him, I write him letters, i try to adjust my schedule, i become late from work, i fight with my mom.... and yet, I FEEL as if he doesn't care of the efforts im making.


grrr! he should think about whatever he's doing to me. Im not saying im gorgeous, but i can also be attractive. there are people around me right now who are making more effort than what he is doing. he doesnt even seem to be interested in me. at least my past boyfriends were interested in me... or at least looks interested.


ugh! dont mind me. i guess im just a little depressed .
I just wish he would make more effort. i better sleep and lay my depressed mind to rest.

Am I worth it?

In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question:

"What kind of man are you looking for?"

She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye and asking,

"Do you really want to know?"

Reluctantly, he said "Yes."

She began to expound...

"As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to ask a man what he can do for me that I can't do for myself.
I pay my own bills, I take care of my household without the help of any man...or woman for that matter.

I am in the position to ask, 'What can you bring to the table?'"

The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money.

She quickly corrected his thought and stated,
"I am not referring to money. I need something more.
I need a man who is striving for perfection in every aspect of life."

He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, and asked her to explain.

She said, "I am looking for someone who is striving for excellence mentally
because I need conversation and mental stimulation. I don't need a simple-minded man.

I am looking for someone who is striving for excellence spiritually because I don't need to be unequally yoked...
Believers mixed with nonbelievers is a recipe for disaster.

I need a man who is striving for excellence financially because I don't need a financial burden.

I am looking for someone who I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him.
I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business.
I have no problem being submissive...he just has to be worthy.

God made woman to be a help mate for man. I can't help a man if he can't help himself."

When she finished her spill, she looked at him. He sat there with a puzzled look on his face.
He said, "You are asking a lot."

She replied, "I am worth a lot."




hopefully the person I love would realize that i am also worth a lot. sana mabasa nya to. *sob*

Am I worth it?

In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question:

"What kind of man are you looking for?"

She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye and asking,

"Do you really want to know?"

Reluctantly, he said "Yes."

She began to expound...

"As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to ask a man what he can do for me that I can't do for myself.
I pay my own bills, I take care of my household without the help of any man...or woman for that matter.

I am in the position to ask, 'What can you bring to the table?'"

The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money.

She quickly corrected his thought and stated,
"I am not referring to money. I need something more.
I need a man who is striving for perfection in every aspect of life."

He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, and asked her to explain.

She said, "I am looking for someone who is striving for excellence mentally
because I need conversation and mental stimulation. I don't need a simple-minded man.

I am looking for someone who is striving for excellence spiritually because I don't need to be unequally yoked...
Believers mixed with nonbelievers is a recipe for disaster.

I need a man who is striving for excellence financially because I don't need a financial burden.

I am looking for someone who I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him.
I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business.
I have no problem being submissive...he just has to be worthy.

God made woman to be a help mate for man. I can't help a man if he can't help himself."

When she finished her spill, she looked at him. He sat there with a puzzled look on his face.
He said, "You are asking a lot."

She replied, "I am worth a lot."




hopefully the person I love would realize that i am also worth a lot. sana mabasa nya to. *sob*

living solo

yes, here i am again, living on my own. i guess im happy but not really happy.... if you know what i mean. the reason for this one? my stepdad. he's just too jealous about my mother's attention to me. jeez.

sometimes it makes me wish i was a bad person. then maybe my mom would really have a reason to get disappointed to me. i mean, she thinks its all about her. she didnt even notice that its affecting me bigtime. she's never attuned to my feelings. oh well. that's life.

Its okay if she lives with bob. as long as that makes her happy, why not? she deserves to be happy. i just don't see the point why she also blames me for all the bad things happening in her life. she makes me feel guilty for moving. I can't help it if her husband is saying im attacking him. jeez! i dont even talk to him. what an ass!

I just hope in the future my mother won't judge my future husband. honestly, she keeps on saying which guy to get and stuff like that, but in reality, she doesn't get the right person for herself. or maybe they're perfect for her but would not work for me.

I get mixed reviews. I have a boyfriend right noow who I love very much and yet I cant tell my mother because I dont want her to say bad things about him. sure, he's not rich. sure he's not super intelligent, sure he's not super successful, but I love him. doesn't that count? I thought that was the most important thing but apparently, the person should be rich, and successful. but she never mentioned love. why is that?

i never interfered with her lovelife. I just hope when i tell her im going to get married, i hope she wont interfere with mine too.

living solo

yes, here i am again, living on my own. i guess im happy but not really happy.... if you know what i mean. the reason for this one? my stepdad. he's just too jealous about my mother's attention to me. jeez.

sometimes it makes me wish i was a bad person. then maybe my mom would really have a reason to get disappointed to me. i mean, she thinks its all about her. she didnt even notice that its affecting me bigtime. she's never attuned to my feelings. oh well. that's life.

Its okay if she lives with bob. as long as that makes her happy, why not? she deserves to be happy. i just don't see the point why she also blames me for all the bad things happening in her life. she makes me feel guilty for moving. I can't help it if her husband is saying im attacking him. jeez! i dont even talk to him. what an ass!

I just hope in the future my mother won't judge my future husband. honestly, she keeps on saying which guy to get and stuff like that, but in reality, she doesn't get the right person for herself. or maybe they're perfect for her but would not work for me.

I get mixed reviews. I have a boyfriend right noow who I love very much and yet I cant tell my mother because I dont want her to say bad things about him. sure, he's not rich. sure he's not super intelligent, sure he's not super successful, but I love him. doesn't that count? I thought that was the most important thing but apparently, the person should be rich, and successful. but she never mentioned love. why is that?

i never interfered with her lovelife. I just hope when i tell her im going to get married, i hope she wont interfere with mine too.

What a lady wants, but men don't give

• Leave her sweet text messages.
• Text her often.
• Leave her small notes of endearment in places she would see.
  
• Leave emails when you guys are apart.
  
• Kiss her in front of your friends.
• Trust her over everyone else.
• Tell her she looks beautiful. always!
  
• Look her in the eye when you talk to her.
• Tell her stupid jokes to make her laugh.
• Tell her your secrets.
• Tell her your thoughts and dreams.
• Let her mess with your hair.
• Mess with her hair too.
  
• Call her often.
• Surprise her often.
  
• Just walk around with her.
• Include her in most things you do.
• When she cries do whatever to make her smile.
• Forgive her for her mistakes.
• Don't let her worry.
• Apologize when needed.
  
• just sleep together in each other's arms.
  
• Look at her like she's the only girl you see.
• Tickle her even if she says stop.
• Hold her hand even when you are around your friends.
• When she starts swearing at you tell her you love her.
• Get her mad, then kiss her.
• Tease her and let her tease you back.
• Stay up with her all night when she's sick.
• Watch her favorite movie.
• Kiss her forhead.
• Kiss her Hand.
  
• Give her the world
• Give her small things out of the blue.
• Be sweet to her.
• Don't be stingy with her.
  
• Always tell her that you love her.
  
• Let her wear your clothes.
• When she's sad, hang out with her and boost her up.
  
• Let her know she is important.
  
• Let her know that she is the only one for you.
  
• Let her take all the photos of you whenever she wants.
• Kiss her in the rain.
• Talk about the future together.
  
• Include her in your future.
  
• Love her as if she is the only girl in the world.

*sigh* I wish... oh well... nobody's perfect, but i still wish....

3 months and counting....

yep. you read it right. it is already our third month and still going strong... i think. i mean, I am loyal and everything. I also believe that he is also loyal to me. but I am so freaking scared!

I have been through several guys, several of them have cheated on me right under my nose. I know it is wrong for me to think this, but what would make my baby aj different from other guys? I think he is different from other guys but if you ask me why, I couldn't really tell you the reason. It's just a gut feeling I have.

I know, I know, here I am again, wallowing in my insecurity. but I can't help it! I had a boyfriend who was stolen from me right under my nose and we live in the same country for chrissakes! a whole ocean is in between my baby and me right now. how will I know that I will not suffer the same heartache as I did when I was with my past boyfriends?

I have given everything to this guy. he may not know it yet, But I already know. he already has my whole heart and soul. I have not even looked at ANY guy eversince we have been apart. And it says a lot about me. I can say that I have been also loyal to my past boyfriends because i have not cheated on me. I had looked (occassionally, whenever I go out of town... but I dont flirt with them. They flirt with me.), I didn't go out with anyone even though they would ask me out on dates and everything. but now, with AJ? I dont look at anyone! a person asked me out to watch a movie with him, and I turned him down. I told him I had a boyfriend and even though it was a "friendly date" as he put it, it was not right. I turned him down without a thought even though he was hot and he was cute.

back to the topic.... as I was saying earlier, i have already given everything to my baby aj. he knows almost all of my secrets, all of my fantasies, my dreams, my future. he has the capacity to ruin me with everything he knows about me.

what is the purpose of this post anyway? frankly, i really don't know. maybe im just taking off some of my insecurity or something. its a good thing noone knows my blog or else... ugh!

I wish my baby is with me right now. I wish that we would marry in the future. I wish that he would remain loyal to me forever. I wish that he would love me forever.

oh well, this is all wishful thinking.

love list

Where to make love:

These are just places where I would like to make love with the person I really love. This is probably super shallow, but hell, I just want to make a list. Maybe I’ll add more when I get older. Maybe not really make love…. A super duper heavy make out would also do nicely. J

1. In the house
1. Bedroom
2. Kitchen
3. Living room
4. Bathroom (the bathtub should be REALLY nice!)
5. Den
6. Backyard
7. Patio
8. Garage? --> Fine. It’s basically every room in the house.
9. garden
2. Car… need I say more? J both the front seat and the back seat…. What type?
1. Porsche
2. Lexus
3. Mercedez
4. Ferrarri
5. Lamborghini
6. Jaguar
7. Limosine (stretch… wherein you can lie down on the floor and… you know….)
3. Sauna
4. Jacuzzi
5. elevator
6. School-> yes. I know it’s gross. I don’t care. I just wan to try it!
7. in the office (yes, I see myself as a doctor in the future. Maybe a little quickie in between patients? Hehehe!)
8. in the hospital… I have seen the friends episode where they made love insde a private room. Its not exactly the best place in the world, but why not?
9. in my guy’s house (just the thought of me and my guy getting caught gives me the thrill)
10. in a yacht (I find that really sexy. I should buy a yacht when I get older then make love all day.)
11. in a Caribbean cruise
12. In an Alaskan cruise
13. At a Hilton Hotel
14. Beverly Hills Hotel
15. Inside the plane (yes. Inside the plane. Since I travel often, believe me, I know it is possible to make love in a plane. I haven’t tried it, but I know you can do it especially if there are only a few passangers… off season flights, anyone?)
16. at a park (not in the Philippines. Ugh!) Central Park in New York…. I just love the setting
17. at a picnic
18. during fourth of July / or during new year’s eve (where the fireworks are going on while me and my lover would be making wild passionate sex. Oh yeah!)
19. inside the movie house
20. at the beach
21. swimming pool->I just find this so sexy. I love making out inside the pool.
22. at a concert
23. at a broadway show (just a thought. The first one I watched was les miserables…maybe we would be heating up the show. Hehehe!)
24. at a restaurant (well maybe not really make love, but a few under the table groping and a handjob would be nice all under the white table cloth
25. Paris (ahh, yes…. The giant phallus! It’s the romantic place in the world!)
26. Italy
27. Rome (is this where the gondolas are? Im not that sure.)
28. England
29. behind the Niagara falls (I was there…. I found a few places where it is so romantic I wish my boyfriend would propose to me. Oh well. Too bad. Im single right now. Maybe my future boyfriend would propose to me romantically. Sigh!) making out here is a good place too.
30. Disneyworld (in florida)… epcot center… I just find it so romantic just kissing lightly while waiting for an hour in the line of space mountain or any other ride. I wish I had one to cuddle with while we’re waiting for the line to move. So far, I haven’t met the guy who would ride with me to all the rides that I want. They just don’t know that with my adrenaline rush, I might go for them sooner, if you know what I mean.)
31. Six flags
32. Universal studios
33. Sea World
34. New York (empire state building should be in the list…. Not really making love, just making out… it is so romantic!!!)
35. At the gym ( I don’t know why, but being hot and sweaty certainly helps my juices flowing. I find guys getting hotter when they’re sweating…. Oh yeah!this goes for both the martial arts people and the weightlifting I have a weakness for sporty men.)
36. California
1. San Francisco (cable car & golden gate bridge on top of my list too!)
2. Los Angeles (City of angels… sigh! Because of meg ryan & Nicholas cage, I believe I should make love in this city in California)
37. Las Vegas (where people can get hitched with a snap of the fingers…. I would want to make love in this place too…)
38. Atlantic City (an Awesome place in New Jersey… I just love it! This place is sooo romantic. I wish someone would be with me while we would walk hand in hand at boardwalk and look at all the hotels there and the casinos and see all the places in the monopoly game board… can you actually believe it? I have been to the places stated in monopoly and I have no one to share it with! Damn!).
39. In the Philippines:
1. Boracay
2. Palawan
3. Puerto Galera
4. Baguio
5. *the reason why these places are in my list is that I think as a filipino I should also try to get a taste of the Filipino good stuff. I got some action in some of the places in the Philippines, I just think I should get MORE action. J
40. In Japan (in those tatami mats with cherry blossoms in the background… I would love that. The scenery in japan is soo cool, the setting is just… perfect!)
41. Hong Kong (sigh! I wish I was with a different person when I was in HK. Grrr!)
42. Korea (change of scenery. Still hoping for the sporty dude with brains…. Geez, where are you? I still wanna go on a tour of korea and make love ALL the way!!)
43. Australia (you know, after scuba diving in the great barrier reef, I would make love with my man under the stars… yeah right! It’s just a thought. I find it sexy).

I never new this list would be so long. I just wish I would be able to find a guy who will love me forever and marry me and bring me to places I have never been before and make love to me and treat me like a princess. Yeah right. Dream on girl! Oh well… maybe I’ll add more to the list as I see more of the world…or when I read something romantic. J

Things that I miss from all of my ex boyfriends combined

Im just transferring this from my old files in my pc and im putting it all here for your viewing pleasure. lol

1. pick me up from school nung wala pa akong car kasi meron sya.
2. help me out when i'm harrassed na with school tapos tutulungan nya ako by typing my reports
3.writing me letters, poems or love notes and putting them in different places tapos bigla ko nalang makikita
4. going to all my competitions to support me kasi wala parents ko.
5. would massage me when i was tired or when i have my period
6.would text me/beep me(hehehe! tagal na noh? uso pa pager nun).
7. he would plan a trip to the beach or baguio or tagaytay including my friends para ang alam ng parents ko im with my friends and not with him.
8. whenever I am in the US he would call me every other day (aside from texting me, emailing me and chatting with me).
9. called the ex before him to tell him to stop harrassing me because he was stalking me. they almost had a fist fight. *sigh* he was my hero then. lol
10. sharing everything (when i mean everything, as in pati bank accounts namin nasa name namin pareho.)
11. he would send me a card papunta sa house namin sa US before i left pinas para by the time i get there, meron na akong card agad.
12. send me stuff kung saan man me even though it was ridiculously expensive (although it is really heart melting).
13.gave me a ring and told me that when i would graduate from college an engagement ring would replace that ring so that we would be together forever. *sigh* --> i still have that ring although it is tucked away in a box with all the other
ex
14. he's always telling me that i am the most beautiful girl in the world for him (kahit na alam ko hindi totoo. nagpapauto ako. )
15. redecorated my room by putting all the glow in the dark stuff because i love looking at stars
16. just by being there always. that even though I think i don't need help, he was always there for me.



maybe i'll add more when I remember something else. hehehe!