living solo

yes, here i am again, living on my own. i guess im happy but not really happy.... if you know what i mean. the reason for this one? my stepdad. he's just too jealous about my mother's attention to me. jeez.

sometimes it makes me wish i was a bad person. then maybe my mom would really have a reason to get disappointed to me. i mean, she thinks its all about her. she didnt even notice that its affecting me bigtime. she's never attuned to my feelings. oh well. that's life.

Its okay if she lives with bob. as long as that makes her happy, why not? she deserves to be happy. i just don't see the point why she also blames me for all the bad things happening in her life. she makes me feel guilty for moving. I can't help it if her husband is saying im attacking him. jeez! i dont even talk to him. what an ass!

I just hope in the future my mother won't judge my future husband. honestly, she keeps on saying which guy to get and stuff like that, but in reality, she doesn't get the right person for herself. or maybe they're perfect for her but would not work for me.

I get mixed reviews. I have a boyfriend right noow who I love very much and yet I cant tell my mother because I dont want her to say bad things about him. sure, he's not rich. sure he's not super intelligent, sure he's not super successful, but I love him. doesn't that count? I thought that was the most important thing but apparently, the person should be rich, and successful. but she never mentioned love. why is that?

i never interfered with her lovelife. I just hope when i tell her im going to get married, i hope she wont interfere with mine too.