IF....

I remembered one time when my bf asked me that what if, I never met him, who would I be dating right now. I paused for a long time, because I didnt want to say who it would be, although there was only one person in my mind.

then I told my bf. he seems sad when I told him who it was. I guess he feels threatened because I am extremely close to this guy right now.


but what if? what if I was with this guy right now? what would I be doing right now? maybe i would take up nursing instead since I dont want to leave him here in the US while im in the philippines studying again. maybe i wouldn't have to work as hard since he is already well established in his career and has his own home and job and everything. maybe i would really be happy with him. maybe every time we go to work we would always eat together and enjoy every waking moment having fun with each other.

they are all maybes but it would never happen. the only time this would happen is IF my BF would break up with me because I would definitely not break up with him.

he may not be all those things the other person is, but I love him.

omfg!!!!!!

hahahah!!!! hahahah!!!! i just feel so crazy with a mixture of emotions. nyahahahahah! i feel happy, I feel sad.... I dunno what I feel.

I feel sad coz my BF doesn't think I'm sexy. that's a downer....


but I feel happy about this guy.... im not gonna say his name just in case he would come across my blog... he thinks I'm the bomb!!!! weee! everytime we talk I also feel happy inside. I feel the same way with my bf too, dont get me wrong, but with him, i guess he's just pulling my leg or something, but everytime we're together he complements me. I was wearing a halter top the other afternoon when he saw me hanging out in the dog park with my puppies and he came up to me and whispered: "hello gorgeous." omg! I immediately felt giddy inside. we talked for an hour till I told him I have to go home (he felt really sad coz he wanted me to have coffee with him).

It actually made me feel good. I dont care if he is pulling my leg, I just know that I FEEL SO DAMN GOOD when he does those things for me.

don't get me wrong, I really love my BF a lot, and I know he makes an effort for us to talk every night, to text me that he loves me, to send loads to my phone so that I can receive his texts.

but this PERSON (who will remain nameless until I forget myself and actually put his name here accidentally ), would bring me coffee to work, give my half his lunch, bring me lunch, walk me to my car from the gate of the warehouse to make sure that nobody would harass me, call me to check on me, to give me benadryl even though I was the one working on the pharmacy when I had allergies and he even held my hand when i was crying about my dog. hahaha! he saw all my pathetic stuff and yet he still calls me gorgeous.

sabagay, my boyfriend still loves even though im pathetic and he doesnt find me sexy. in a way, its also a two way thing... I dont find my bf sexy too, although i dont tell him that. /heh I still call him sexy so that he would feel good about himself.

good thing my FRIEND calls me sexy and gorgeous all the time....although I dont feel comfortable when he calls me his sexy sweetheart..... but i feel so special since he's so cute and he's a SOMEBODY!!!!!

arghhhh!!! my head is whirling so fast, my heart is all jumbled up! I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!

solution? I have one: go on a DIET so that my bf will find me sexy then that way he can call me sexy. nyahaha!




I just have one secret.... this person who calls me gorgeous and I have a picture together at the beach.... him wearing these adorable looking trunks (believe me, they look GOOD!!!!) and I was wearing my lovable CK black 2 pc suit. *sigh*


WE LOOK GOOD TOGETHER!!! nyahahaha! so there!


uh ohh.... im going crazy again.

christmas list

so, I'm thinking about the things I would buy for christmas.... and here is my list...


Ipod (80gigs)
digicam (canon A540)
dooney & bourke purse
PSP
PS3
versace woman
vera wang princess

see? :D pretty short huh?

things I need to buy for the pips I love:

baby-ipod nano 4gig
mom-louis vuitton luggage set
dad-I dunno yet. ugh!

adopt your own virtual pet!

aw

http://www.myheritage.com

adopt your own virtual pet!

cleeb lookalike

shhhh

I just have to share this piece of information..... its just that I can't tell anyone about it.



hypothetically speaking, *cough*cough* if someone of the opposite sex just gave you a pair of earrings for the reason "just because" would you take it when you have a boyfriend and you know your boyfriend would hate you if ever he finds out?


hayyy... I miss being pampered by my boyfriend. T_T ugh! I hate temptations. especially when that temptation is really being so adorable, cute, kind and is really taking care of me.... of course, It doesn't hurt when he has blond hair and blue eyes, 6 feet tall, good body, has a house, stable job.....



arrggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!


oh well.... he just came a little too late. hahahah!








who am I laughing at anyway?! darnit.

I just miss being treated like a princess. sobsobsob

leche.

damnit. sometimes the stress is just killing me. how come I always have to think about the future?

I wish I can get someone who'll worry about my future....then maybe I dont have to worry about my future then I can do whatever I want.


life sucks. damnit.



to the person way up there, please give me wisdom, courage and strength. sometimes I dont think I'm gonna make it.