tired

so tired. so tired. i cant help it. I'm just... tired.

hoping that someone will catch me. I mean, really catch me. I'm still holding on to that promise. my one last hope. someone remove me from my misery.


I dont want to do this... but I have to. for my sake. for my sanity. I love myself.


he loves me. can I love him back the way he loves me? is that possible? my head hurts from thinking to much. I wish I'm stupid so that I would just marry him. haha. stupid head. stupid heart. pathetic tlaga.

hindi manlang pla ako ipaglalaban ulit ng bf ko. haha!fun realization. wahaha!

uh oh... does this call for a sleep over? wahaha!

I'm going over there now.

I promise.

I promise. I wish I can fast forward the time...Every time I look at your eyes I can see the pact we made that day. it started out as a joke, but it suddenly took a serious turn.

Is It bad? I love holding your hand it feels so natural to hold it. I never thought about it, but suddenly I keep on craving for it.

I made the decision not to see you often anymore. I know he wouldn't know. but I really am falling for you. I know you cried to your sister about me. she told me.

how I wish I can give you my heart. What you said was true. when I was at my breaking point with my boyfriend. I wanted to run away. to go to you. you were the person who saved me.

I just have to stop these feelings for you. but thank you. thank you for understanding me. thank you for the promise. that promise is the only one I'm holding on to. I know you wouldn't break your promise. you're different from the other people I know. you're not like other guys who promises somethings but wouldnt do it. you always keep your promise. that's why I love you. you are so reliable. you are so kind and caring... noone can help it but fall in love with you.

I'm sorry I gave you back the ring. its not yet time for me to accept it. I am really sorry. maybe... when the time is right...maybe I'll be able to wear it....

I still have the heart pendant you gave to me though. that I can't give back to you. it symbolizes the things we went through, our experiences...the feelings.... I will always wear it...forever. I promise. I know you would also wear the gift I have given you. we made the exchange. I never felt so connected to someone.

Every time i feel so sad, I just think about you and our times together, and I immediately feel happy. you made my life worthwhile. its funny how things work out right?

thank you for sharing with me everything, for sharing my dreams, for sharing your dreams, for including me in your future...thank you.

having you in my life is a miracle given to me by god.

too many guys... too little time

my gosh my gosh my gosh!!

I know I'm bad. I'm really bad. but I rally can't help it. especially when my bf treats me like crap and there seems to be a dozen guys coming over to me, hitting on me and making me feel as if I'm worth a million dollars. haha!

oh well.... I realized one thing. if my boyfriend doesnt like me, then i will find someone else who will. haha! I already have 2 people lined up who are VERY VERY GOOD PROSPECTS. wahahaha! I already stopped feeling sorry for myself. if he does not like me, then I can't do anything about it anymore.

at least I know I gave it my all. thats it. I gave it my best shot. he does not want it, then I can't do anything about it. hah! so there!

you say you are jealous? yeah right. you say you love me? prove it. other people seem to have proven it better than you did. hah! so there.



i have roses in front of me, chocolates in my fridge, several stuffed toys in my room, all from different people. they gave it to me because they want me. they call me up all the time because they want me. because they care for me.

I dont cheat on my partner. everyone of these suitors of mine know that i have a boyffriend. but all of them know that I'm a sucker for attention.


hahaha! hahah! just venting out my frustration. haha! sa totoo lang. ang lakas ng temptation....


parang....


gusto ko ....


na mag asawa ng mayaman....

at minamahal ako...

para I can study what I want....

para i dont have the pressure of trying to make it in the world...

para may sasalo na sakin....

para hindi na ako maghihirap....

para may magmamahal sakin ng katulad ng pagmamahal ko sa kanila....