makes me wonder

let me cut to the chase. i guess im not sensitive enough for my boyfriend. i dunno.


i just have to stop comparing him to the other guys following me around. I know my bf can be one of the sweetest guys in the world but he can also be the densest one around. I'm not really falling for this friend of mine, but, but, but... BUT!!

there's a big bUT! he is doing the things my bf ought to be doing. i'm already tired trying to tell him that I already have a bf so i just stopped telling him that.

it was silly it know, last night, i had a bad dream, I knew my bf was still sleeping so i decided to bug this friend of mine. we talked for what seemed like forever until i felt better and I was able to sleep without me having the same nightmare.

then he found out I was going to the park. I was surprised that he was already there with his dog, but I was also in a way glad to have him there because I felt a little sad & lonely.

the first thing he told me? I felt that you were feeling a little down that's why I decided to volunteer my shoulder for you to lean on.

for the first time that day, I smiled my first real smile. so basically, I just complained to him all the things that was bothering me. he just listened and i felt better.

good thing i found a friend in him. my boyfriend was interested what this friend of mine got me for my birthday. I just told him the material thing that my friend got me which I didnt take. But I didnt tell my boyfriend that i asked my friend for something else.

i just told him that I just wanted his friendship & nothing more & that I hope that he will give me that & nothing more. he finally agreed to be just friends, although he jokingly told me that if I decided to break up with my current bf, to just give him a call so that he can take up that spot.

he really is my friend. I know that he has romantic feelings for me but he really is trying his best to cover those feelings & just be a friend. I rally admire him for that.

he cares for me so much that I always feel like a princess when I'm with him. he would open doors for me, refill my drinks when its almost empty, walk me to my car when its raining hard with a big umbrella so that I wouldnt get wet, get the turkey out of the freezer, brings me gum (because I am addicted to it), & just about all the sweetest things i never thought i would experience.

thank you. thank you. thank you!!!!

thank you for being sympathetic to me, for being sensitive to my feelings, for being sweet, for being there for me. thank you.